For the first time in a very long time, Valentine’s Day was hard for me. For as long as I can remember, Valentine’s Day has always been my favorite holiday. I have always enjoyed it whether I was single or in a relationship. I guess it’s the hopeless romantic in me. 2014-2015 has been very shitty relationship wise. I broke with the man I thought I was going to marry…twice. If I’m being honest, I still love him and I’m not over him. Fast forward to last week…
This year I sent all of my friends cards. While shopping for the various cards, I kept get overwhelmed to point of tears. Several times, I had to fight the tears back. This wasn’t the only instance…I was simply having a hard time. In an effort to make myself feel better, I engaged in some retail therapy, got a mani/pedi and ventured into the world of eyebrow waxing. Nothing helped me…Yesterday, I did stupid little errands to try to ignore it but it didn’t help. Even today, I want to the bookstore…one of my favorite places in the universe…and got all crazy, teary-eyed there. UGH! I want this feeling to go away. I want to not be sad. I don’t want to have a broken heart. I want to be happy again…I want to believe in love again. I don’t want to turn into some middle aged, bitter woman who makes everyone sad because she is in a perpetual state of sadness.